You’ve imagined how amazing your life would be with two awesome dogs, envisioned what great pals they’d be, the incredible adventures you will go on. You can picture them now having a nap together in a pool of sunlight on your floor, or romping and frolicking together in the yard. But what if they don’t get along? What if they are so distracted by each other that they don’t listen to you at all? How do you prevent the two dogs from becoming possessive or aggressive with each other?

Here’s how to start off smoothly to set up for success.

Many people assume that to get dogs to become best buddies, all they need to do is to let them figure it out on their own. A great parent wouldn’t just leave their toddler in the playground and let another kid kick or bite them, expecting them to “figure it out”. Instead, we guide, advise and show our kids & dogs how to behave politely so everyone has fun and stays safe.

Begin away from home

On day one, rather than bringing the new dog straight into the house or yard, start off on neutral territory. Introduce the dogs by walking on-leash. Have someone walk one dog, while you walk the other. Begin farther apart at first, then gradually walk closer until you’re walking next to each other with the dogs on the outside. This allows the dogs to get to know each other in a very non-confrontational way without being pressured to interact. Migrating together as a pack helps to build the trust and respect so important to having a well behaved dog. Keep your energy calm, while you take your time and enjoy a nice long walk together.

Welcome home!

Once at home, limit your new dog’s access to your space. Don’t overwhelm them with too much freedom that they haven’t earned yet. Keep the dog leashed (or tethered to you) as you show them around.

If your first dog can already reliably hold a Place command, have them stay on their Place (bed, cot, spot) with a tie-back, while you quietly and calmly show your new dog around. If they can’t reliably stay on Place, you can put your dog in their crate or have the other person take them elsewhere, to avoid interference while you introduce your new dog to their crate, water bowl, Place, and the other rooms they are allowed to enter.

You may choose to “crate and rotate” the dogs for the first few days (by putting one dog in their crate while the other is out). Use your best judgement here. If your original dog has fantastic obedience and a calm mindset, then you can trust them to stay calmly on their Place cot while the new dog is being trained, patted, brushed, etc. If not, put them in their crate. Then crate the new dog while you work with and give attention to your original dog. This way they get to know each other calmly without competition. It allows the dogs to build trust by letting them get to know each other from a safe distance, and builds trust in you as their wise protector and guardian.

Healthy Socialization

When people begin socializing their dog with other dogs, the first thing that usually happens is an on-leash, face-to-face meeting, or an off-leash free-for-all. When dogs are forced to meet on leash they are restrained and feeling trapped can lead to lunging, whining, barking (defence tactics) to scare the other dog away. When let loose in a yard or field to figure it out on their own, one dog may be completely overwhelmed and without reliable recall, you’d have no way to intervene. Neither of these options is ideal if you want a well-socialized dog. In fact, these scenarios can cause both dogs to lose confidence in you as their guardian and protector and leave them without any guidance as to how to behave politely or learn to socialize appropriately.

Polite, trusting calmness is the best way to begin.
The safest and best way to teach dogs to behave well together and to build and maintain trust in you and in other dogs, is to teach them how to calmly co-exist near each other, without staring, touching or playing using the Place command. It’s the ‘off switch’ dogs need to prevent needless stressing. This is teaching them to have good manners and to learn that their best polite behaviour is rewarded by you. They learn to have a calm mindset in the presence of other dogs, while continuing to follow your leadership and commands. This is State of Mind training. This is Calm on Command. This is doggy meditation. Calm co-existence is the most important form of socializing that you can teach your dogs.

We don’t want to teach dogs to get insanely over-excited to meet every dog they see. Imagine if we were like that. “OMG there’s another human!”… then we race over to grab them and jump all over them. That’s crazy for us and it’s equally crazy for dogs. Instead we want to teach our dogs to hang out like relaxed people at a cafe. Calm, cool and easy in each other’s company, without needing to arm-wrestle over anything or prove anything to one another. All we want for now is for the dogs to mind their own business and behave themselves. Over time, they will likely become best friends, but to try to FORCE them to become besties is not the way to get there.

Advocate for both dogs

Once you decide to let the dogs interact, be sure to insist on polite socialization. Don’t let one dog pester, bully or push the other dog around. It’s your job to set firm boundaries about what kind of interaction is allowed. This builds your dog’s trust in you and doesn’t force them to get nasty with each other to stop inappropriate behaviour. The more the dogs see you keeping an eye out for them, the more sensible they will be. You will notice them looking to you for direction and guidance.

Possessiveness

It’s best to set up for success by eliminating things to get possessive over right from the start. What your dogs feel possessive about may surprise you. When we brought home a rescue cat, our dog decided that he would drink ALL of his water to prevent the cat from getting any! Pay special attention to your dogs behaviour around toys, bones, beds, food, water, and access to your personal space. Feeding each dog in their own crate is the safest method. It also prevents one dog from getting fat while the other one goes hungry! Thoroughly teaching each dog (in one-on-one sessions) to DROP IT, LEAVE IT, or the OUT command (whichever you choose) is extremely helpful in keeping them safe around items they may become possessive about. On your word, each dog must relinquish the item to you, rather than fight over it themselves. This can be taught as a fun game, but the intent is serious to keep everyone safe.

Don’t allow one dog to crowd into your space and push or herd the other dog away. Remember that you must set the rules about your space and you decide when and how you interact with each dog. Being firm and clear about this prevents your dogs from becoming possessive over you. You are their teacher, leader, guardian – NOT their possession to fight over. Make the roles clear here to prevent any confusion for your dogs.

Treat your original dog as you normally would. Don’t overwhelm the new dog with too much talking, touching, or treats. Keep things calm to help both dogs adapt.

Take it slowly

Keep the first week or so as a calm, quiet time for your new dog to adjust to their new daily routine. Avoid overwhelming your dog with too many introductions to new people or places right away.

Many people mistakenly give new dogs too much freedom too soon and leave them unattended. You’ll be living with this dog for the rest of their life, so what’s the hurry? Take it slow and only increase your dog’s freedom incrementally when they have completely earned your trust after you have thoroughly taught him/her how to behave in your home and with your other dog. It’s not fair to correct a dog for making a mistake until you are sure they know what to do and what not to do.

Keep leashes on both dogs while supervising indoors so you have the ability to guide them when needed. Do this as long as you feel necessary. This is a super simple step that can make life a lot easier while showing your dogs how to live well together.

No Free Roaming

Help your dogs succeed by giving them a structured home life with clear rules to follow. If your new dog is either safely in their crate, on their Place cot while back tied, or leashed/tethered to your belt for the first 90 days, this gives the dog ample time to learn what behaviour is allowed so they don’t develop and practice bad habits that need to be corrected later on. It’s much easier to show your new dog repeatedly what they ARE allowed to do, and to catch their intention to do the wrong thing and guide them immediately to stop, than to correct unwanted behaviours that have become ingrained habits later on. By following this advice your dog will never have the ability to disappear behind your sofa to “have an accident”, will never develop the habit of chasing your cat, or eating your stuff, or stealing from your counter, etc.

Quality Time

Successful dog training is all about being a great observer of behaviour and teacher. That requires that you spend lots of time together. Whenever you don’t have that time, put your dogs in their crates to prevent them from practicing things that dogs will naturally do (barking, chewing, peeing, pooping). As the saying goes, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”. You got a dog to spend quality time together and the time you spend now will pay off in having a great dog who makes great choices!

Most dogs are living in a constant state of over-excitement, which stresses them out! When dogs are stressed they get into trouble doing things people don’t like. Many people confuse a dog’s stress for signs of happiness (e.g. frantic excitement, running around, panting, jumping). A dog with a calm state of mind is not busy engaging in disruptive, disturbing or dangerous behaviours. Dogs THRIVE when given plenty of structure with clear guidance from their trusted & respected mentors & advocates (that’s you). Life with dependable rules and consistent patterns create a sense of security, increases confidence and reduces or completely eliminates most anxious or unwanted behaviours in dogs.

How do you create a calm state of mind in your dog?

Calmness begins with consistent habits at home. Establish structured routines with predictable, reasonable expectations that your dog can understand, learn & participate in.

By using the “nothing in life is free” method, your dog learns to earn your approval by behaving beautifully. You build a trusting & respectful relationship with your dog by controlling everything in life that your dog values – such as food, water, bed, play, toys, use of space. This makes you relevant to your dog, as you are the source of every good thing.

The Place command teaches doggy meditation, calm on command & impulse control.

Crate training is an essential component to keep dogs from practicing unwanted behaviours while you’re not there to supervise.

Build patience & impulse control by requiring dogs to ask permission to calmly cross thresholds, politely waiting for food, and teach them that all good things come from their calm advocates and respected mentors (you!).

If you’ve been overindulging your dog you may have created a demanding tyrant or even a dog with aggressive behaviours in dogs so inclined. All dogs have deep instinctive needs that must be met. They are not little humans trapped in fur. We can show you how to put your dog’s needs ahead of your own preferences so they’ll behave beautifully.

Calmness is a superpower for humans too!

Become aware of your own energy. Practice being a role model for your dog by demonstrating calmness. Practice moving calmly, without frenetic touching or patting. Practice talking a lot less to your dog and especially avoid loud, or high pitched baby talk or excited questions. Silence is golden while dog training. Actions speak louder than words. The less you talk, the calmer your dog will be.

And of course, satisfy your dog’s basic needs for healthy food, a reasonable amount of exercise, appropriate socialization and peaceful rest periods.

Here’s to your happy life with your relaxed dog!

The Place command teaches dogs how to relax in a specific spot.”Place” can be a dog cot, a bed, a rug, a chair – you decide – and you can change where & what the “place” is that you want your dog to relax. It is helpful initially to choose a location with distinct edges. Using a raised cot makes it easier to teach the dog to remain within the boundaries of this designated location, and it’s comfy so the dog will want to hang out there to rest.

The many Benefits of the Place command for dogs

Whether your dog is demanding & pushy, or shy & nervous, or anywhere in between – the Place command is a game changer.

Daily practice of Place work is extremely beneficial for dogs to learn to relax and it’s a key part of teaching a dog to be calm on command. With a little practice every day, your dog can become a zen master! This is super handy when you have guests visiting, or have household tasks to do.

We initially teach the Place command and then pair it with the Down command, so dogs learn to associate Place with laying down. Where the body goes the mind will follow. Since laying down is naturally a relaxing position that is related to taking a snooze, your dog will begin to calm down more readily in this position. Gradually your dog will be chilling out on Place for longer periods of time, (from an hour to several hours at a time) and as long as they stay on Place, they are free to stand, sit, or lay down comfortably. If they step off of Place, we simply say “no” in a calm tone of voice and lead them back into Place.

When a dog is new at this exercise, we begin with a leash and with very short duration and few distractions, while remaining close (distance) to the dog. With practice each of these 3 D’s are gradually increased until the dog is a pro at remaining on Place without constant supervision.

If your dog hasn’t mastered this skill yet and you need to come & go from the room, you can use a tie-back to tether your dog to something solid. This is to prevent the dog from getting too far or into mischief if they do step off while you’re not looking. However, never leave your dog unattended while tethered for more than a few minutes when you are home, and definitely don’t leave home with your dog still tied. It is illegal to tether a dog in Ontario for more than an hour in any situation. Besides that, the whole exercise is about teaching your dog to master their impulse control. The dog should not be spending any length of time with tension on a leash with them struggling to escape. Instead the dog is holding themselves on Place with their own will power. That is the magic of the exercise. The dog remains in place of their own accord. This is hard work at first. Dogs love to have a job to do and Place work is a fantastic job for dogs.

Transforming dogs with stress/excitement related issues

The Place command is an essential skill that every dog should master. Every noise, smell, or movement is not something a dog needs to be reacting to. No matter what exciting distractions are happening in the house, or outside the window, a dog can learn to chill out, because those things are not their concern. We show our dogs that we have everything under control so they don’t have to worry about that stuff.

This is how we create calm dogs that are not constantly in motion, persistently pestering people, or stressing themselves out with things they cannot control. Running and jumping around the home is not normal dog behaviour. Once your dog has mastered the Place command, you will be able to get things done around your home, such as vacuuming or other cleaning, laundry, cooking, eating, exercising, homework, projects, etc. If you want to stop a dog from getting underfoot and stressing out, the Place command is life-changing.

A dog cannot be barking, destroying things, pestering people, chasing the cat, or any other unwanted behaviour while they are resting calmly in place. Impulse control is a big part of growing up for all of us. Although many dog owners don’t realize it, training CALMNESS is the key ingredient missing in their dog’s lives.

Place work is ideal to rehab dogs with separation anxiety

Dogs need leadership and guidance to help them be really clear about what to do and where they should be. This is especially important for anxious and overly reactive dogs, but it’s helpful for everyone. It’s our responsibility to help dogs get it right. When they have been given clear information they can make the right decisions, then we get to praise and reward them and they can relax. The Place command is a key element of avoiding or eliminating separation anxiety, since Place teaches dogs that it’s okay to be away from you. The dog’s new job is to stay put and relax, rather than stressing out and following their human around like a shadow.

Interpreting emotion – Is your dog actually happy or just stressed?

Most people see an over-excited dog and say something like, “Look how happy that dog is!” However, excitement in dogs is more often an expression of stress and anxiety rather than joy & happiness. On the flip side, people may see a calm dog and wonder why the dog looks so sad when the dog is actually peacefully relaxing.

It is not healthy or natural to remain in an adrenalized state all of the time. There is a time for exuberant frolicking, rambunctious play and enthusiastic exercise. And then there is the normal state of calmness when nothing much is happening. For much of the time, nothing much is happening, so our dogs are not helped by remaining in a high-energy state during most of the day. The Place command is an essential tool to teach dogs how to meditate, remain peaceful and simply chill out.

Dogs who live in a happy, mentally relaxed space get to be included more in our everyday lives.

When dog trainers say that dogs need “structure” what we mean is **consistent rules**, dependable leadership & guidance. Structure means that the dog can rely on you to create a dependable routine in your household and out in the world.

Structure brings down their stress level (excitement/fear), which is the root cause of all problem behaviours in dogs. When a dog can rely on a safe routine, and they know that someone else (you) will take care of everything for them, they begin to learn to calm down and stop over-reacting. Dogs – and especially those with behaviour problems such as separation anxiety, fear, pushiness, aggression, and many more issues – are HUGELY helped by giving them massive amounts of structure. It’s actually amazing to see.

Having clear, unbreakable rules is extremely therapeutic for dogs. Dogs thrive on clarity. Consistent patterns and expectations create a sense of security and increase calmness and trust in dogs. Many unacceptable behaviours are reduced or eliminated by simply setting up consistent household rules that your dog can rely on, such as door manners, crate training and duration training with the place command to build impulse control & calmness.

Permission-Based Dog Training

In a structured environment **everything** in the dog’s life becomes permission-based. You either allow it – or not. Why should you do this? Because this shapes good behaviours in your dog. This teaches your dog right from wrong. When everything is free, dogs are not motivated to change bad behaviours. Once you take charge and hold your dog accountable for making good choices, you become relevant to your dog. Your dog learns to look to you for permission and listen to what you say, rather than ignore you and make bad choices.

Once you take charge of everything that your dog values, your dog learns that nothing in life is free. Your dog begins to earn all rewards such as: eating, drinking, playing, going outside, walks, affection, attention, space (e.g. access to specific areas in the home, free-roaming indoors, or access to furniture if you allow that at all), dog bed/cot, crate.

Use all of the things your dog wants to reward your dog for good behaviour. Don’t give these rewards unless they are **earned**. When you do this, your dog learns that everything and anything that they enjoy comes from you. You become the source of all good things! In order to get any of the good things in life, your dog needs to first behave well and listen to what you say.

Food is a huge motivator, so instead of using a dog bowl, you can use your dog’s meals to train your dog. Once your dog is perfectly obedience trained and has thoroughly developed the habit of being calm and listening to you, maybe you will choose to use the dog bowl again. Even then, getting food is permission-dependent. Your dog must wait patiently and calmly for their food. This cultivates respect and impulse control.

These good habits spread to being more calm, patient, and looking to you for permission and guidance in all other areas of your dog’s life. So that’s structure. It does wonders for dogs and humans love it too.

Everyday Dog Training

Dog training isn’t a “once and you’re done” kind of thing. It’s ongoing, like raising a kid, or like keeping in shape. You don’t just teach your kid how to behave for 5 minutes every afternoon, or for an hour on Saturdays. You can’t just go to the gym for a week or a month and expect to stay in top shape unless you continue to eat right and maintain your fitness. The same goes for dog training. Dog training is a lifestyle. It’s a regular part of your everyday routine.